MacReady and Windows were flying in an helicopter to L.A. MacReady survived the encounter with the Thing at the end of the movie, he waited until Childs froze to death to use magic to restore Windows back to life. Now they were together and got out of Antarctica.
“Oh my love, I can’t wait to try all the new beard styles!” said Windows happily, holding hands with MacReady.
They kissed, and walked out of the helicopter into the street. There were tons of alien people disguised as humans, but MacReady had his glasses on and shot them. They walked to a fabulous hair dresser shop, full of glitter and rainbows and probably purple? There, Kesha was skinning her victims.
“Hello friends, what’s it gonna be for today?” she asked happily, washing away the blood and grabbing the hair style tool kit.
“Nothing much for me, just braid my beard” said MacReady cheerfully.
“I want tons of glitter and my beard to look like an inverted ice cream cone” said Windows manly.
Kesha showed them the seats and took out a hair-smoother and a bag full of powdered unicorn horns, when suddenly something broke the window. It was the police!
“MacReady and Windows, you are under arrest for being gay!” said Pence evilly.
“No” and MacReady shot him in the groin.
As Pence rolled away crying, Kesha finished the beard styling. They became exactly as they wanted.
“That will be on the house” she said, and returned to butchering people.
Anyways MacReady and Windows got out of the shop. It was sunset, and very beautiful, so they walked to the bay. The bears from We Bare Bears were staring at them, but MacReady shot them. Windows flipped the bird at their corpses. Then they walked and rented a boat.
“Oh MacReady, this is so romantic” Windows said happily, kissing MacReady’s hand.
“Lets get married” MacReady said huskily.
They steered the boat against the shore, crushing thousands of bystanders to death. There, Kate Lloyd was preparing an altar (she survived by teleporting away).
“MacReady, will you take this man as your husband?” she said.
“And Windows, will YOU take this man as your husband?”
“Now I pronounce you married.”
And MacReady and Windows walked back to the helicopter, flying away into the sunsent.